What’s this look like to you?

Kosher Dills by Essential Everyday

What the actual fuck.

Any sane person would pick up this jar of pickles, think they’re dill pickles, open them, eat them, and then say “yup! Tastes like a dill pickle”.

Those words exactly, of course. Otherwise- you guessed it- not sane.

But before we even look at the ingredients, we have to look at the marketing double speak on the label itself, and have a good chuckle or too, in our own idiocy. It’s got words on there that insinuates you’re buying a dill pickle, doesn’t it?

Upon closer reflection, there’s not a damn thing on the label that actually says that you’re buying a dill pickle. The name of the product is “kosher dills”, by the brand “essential everyday”. I’ve no idea what “whole baby” is. Maybe some kind of pickled child or something. Naming it “kosher dills” is the same as General Mills having a product named Cheerios, in that it’s simply a name, not the product description.

Still confused? You think you’re buying dill pickles, but it never actually says “dill pickles” now, does it? Nope. Sure don’t.

Dill pickles need to have a couple ingredients to make them dill pickles, namely DILL being a major fucking ingredient! Let’s check, shall we? Hmmm… Oo! Looky there! It’s got cucumbers in it. And here’s a bonus: they’re fresh! Water, yup, vinegar, yup. Salt, yup. Hmmm… A whole host of preservatives and colors, but no dill. Zero.

"Dill" Pickle Ingredients

Can’t call it a dill pickle without having dill in it.

Instead, they get their marketing team to mislead us and their lawyers sign off on it; the FDA is happy, and we buy their pickles, thinking that we are buying a actual dill pickles.

READ ABOUT  Ickle me, Pickle me, Tickle me too

Realgredients found a dill pickle recipe that will knock your socks off. It’s even got dill in it. But probably only because they  couldn’t find the natural flavors in the flavors aisle of their local grocery store.

Leave a Comment